400 Moons

roots and reality checks

emily1 Comment
Well there is nothing like finding out that your grandmother—one of the dearest people in your life—has an extensive form of cancer to snap you out of any bullshit sadness you may feel about where you think you are in your life. It is also a big reality check. We discovered that my grandmother has pancreatic cancer two days before Christmas, and it is far enough along to not be able to do anything about it. What a tough couple of days, but somehow spending Christmas day with my parents and grandparents in the hospital made perfect sense. There is a depth to what is happening with my grandmother and grandfather, that is so inspiring and so beautiful, it is hard to put it into words. I am thankful to have witnessed it all of these years. I am thankful to have some of those genetics in me. I am so grateful for all of the time I have already had with "Little Hun", and any time I will have. I am in awe of the strength she has always possessed, even now when faced with this.

The holidays do have a way of bringing you back to your roots. It is hard to be in a room full of your family and not be reminded of who you are, where you have come from, and where you are going. I needed that jolt back to myself, just in time for the start of a new year. It is also difficult to be faced with something as overwhelming and large as the illness of a loved one, and not use any time together to help and love each other.